Dear Addiction,
There is a saying that the hardest thing to do in life is to say goodbye. This includes all relationships, including my relationship with you. We have been through a lot together. This started off with plenty of happy moments, like the first time I experienced getting high or drunk. There came a point where I thought I would never have to part with you. I never thought you would like. Now, it is time to say goodbye.
When you first came into my life, I believed that you would help me ease all the pain I was going through. I thought that my traumatic childhood experiences would disappear thanks to you. I also thought that you could ease many of the struggles of my present. This includes issues I have in my personal and professional life. I believed that the more I poured into you, the less I would have to worry about my other problems. For a while, everything seemed fine. We had a great relationship and you did exactly that.
Eventually, I realized that I was wrong. Things started to change. You became the hardest relationship I have ever had to experience. You started to take more than you gave. In fact, you stopped giving at all. You took almost everything away from me. You took away my job. You took away my family members. You took away my friends. Eventually, you took everything away from me. You told me that as long as I let you control everything in my life, everything would be okay. Oh, how wrong I was. It has become clear that everything is not okay. In order for things to get better, I need to let you go.
You have become incredibly cruel. You are a tremendous liar. You are the best thief. Oh, you are an evil master. There were plenty of times when I believed things were starting to look up. I was starting to crawl away from your evil clutches. It turns out that you are also vindictive, as you did everything in your power to pull me right back in. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get away from you. All I wanted to do was make changes in my life that would be for the better. I wanted to become a better person. There was even a part of me that believed I could become a better person with you. Sadly, you are unwilling to share. You constantly blocked me from doing any of the things I wanted to do. In that sense, you quickly became my worst nightmare. Because of you, I ended up doing things that I never in a million years thought I would be capable of doing. You turned me into what I hated more than anything else. You robbed me of my independence and freedom. You have changed me.
As a result, I know I have to leave you. I have tried to leave you in the past; however, every time I try to leave you behind, you simply come back stronger than ever before. I realized that the only way I could be able to leave you would be if I hit rock bottom first. The only thing is that I didn’t know exactly what rock bottom meant. I lost my job. I lost my family. How much more do I have to lose before I’m willing to leave you for good? Will it be a trip to the hospital? Will it be an arrest? No, I am making the decision to leave you now. I am deciding that I have had enough of you. I was too scared to leave you before. I was scared to leave. I was scared of what my life might look like without you. I watched you dig my grave from day one. As the days went by, I stood by and did nothing. Then, you decided to push me into that grave. You began to cover me up. You thought that you would be able to get rid of me. No. That will never happen. I will not let it because I am stronger than you and I am saying goodbye.
Without you, I am stronger. Without you, I am accomplishing more than I ever have. Without you, I am returning to the life and people I once loved because I know they still love me. To my addiction, this is goodbye. I never want to see you again. I am moving forward.
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At Multi Concept Recovery, we are an addiction treatment center located in the beautiful Burbank area of Los Angeles, CA. We combine cutting-edge substance abuse and addiction treatment services to help everyone break free from this disease. Contact us today!
