Trauma bonds are a form of attachment that can lead to mistreatment, such as manipulation or abuse. In this article, you’ll learn more about what a trauma bond is, how they form, and the signs you may have a trauma bond.
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What is a Trauma Bond?
Interested in learning more about “what is a trauma bond”?
A trauma bond is a type of emotional attachment where an individual becomes “attached” to another individual, often leading to manipulation and mistreatment. While a common example of a trauma bond can be abusive relationships, you can essentially form trauma bonds within a personal or professional dynamic. This includes family members, caregivers, friends, or even in your place of work.
Trauma bonds can look and take form in many different ways. However, they typically all connect through experiencing a series of highs and lows in the relationship dynamic. For example, in a romantic relationship, you may feel trauma bonded to a significant other who may be abusive (ie, through verbal or physical abuse). However, that partner may try to then win your affection or justify their actions through gifts or apologies.
The above example is just one of many different ways in which trauma bonds can take form. Trauma bonds can be unfortunately difficult to break as they often follows cyclical type pattern. This is why it is critical to understand what a trauma bond is, so you can work toward breaking it or even ending the relationship with the individual.
How Does a Trauma Bond Form?
Trauma bonds can inevitably hurt your overall health and sense of self-worth. Essentially, the trauma bond cycle causes you to become close to the individual who also hurts you through a series of patterns/steps listed below:
- Love Bombing: This is when the individual shows high praise, promises, or affection that results in creating a quick and intense emotional connection.
- Devaluation: This step involves emotional withdrawal, where the once high praises and affection turn to manipulation and criticism, leaving you feeling confused.
- Abuse: The individual abuses you, which harms which hurts your sense of self-worth.
- Reconciliation: After the mistreatment, the individual may apologize or try to “make up” for their mistreatment of you.
- Reset: The cycle of the trauma bond resets and continues, with constant feelings of “highs” such as praises or gifts, followed by “lows” of mistreatment and manipulation.
Signs You May Have a Trauma Bond
Now that you know more about “what is a trauma bond,” it is important to recognize the signs that a trauma bond may be taking place. This is because sometimes it can be difficult to recognize if you are experiencing a trauma bond in a relationship.
Below are several signs to look out for with a trauma bond:
- The relationship feels addictive because of the constant highs and lows of the relationship.
- You try to dismiss the individual’s abuse as them just “having a bad day” or trying to justify that you did something to cause them to abuse you.
- You find you are isolating from loved ones, which raises your sense of loneliness and can isolate you from the individual you have a trauma bond with.
- You find it difficult to leave the relationship, even though you recognize that their words and actions are not healthy.
Help Is Available
Now you know more about what a trauma bond is, and the various signs to look out for if you suspect you may be struggling with a trauma bond.
Multi Concept Recovery is committed to helping patients safely and effectively heal and improve their physical, mental, and emotional health. We provide a comprehensive range of addiction treatment programs and mental health treatment so that you can lead a healthier, happier life.
Ready to start your recovery journey? Contact us today!
Frequently Asked Questions
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What are common signs of untreated trauma?
Sometimes, it can be difficult to recognize untreated trauma, and thus, it may take you longer to address your trauma. Below are several common signs of untreated trauma to look out for:
- Anxiety and depression
- Difficulty trusting others
- Random angry outbursts
- Avoiding situations that may trigger your trauma
- And more
You should never have to suffer alone with your untreated trauma. At Multi Concept Recovery, we are committed to getting the essential care that you need to lead a healthy, happy life.
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How long will it take me to heal from my trauma?
Recovering from trauma is a journey that can oftentimes take anywhere from several months to years of consistent therapy and working on healing your trauma. Therefore, it is important to understand that while healing trauma in a matter of weeks is unlikely, it is possible to heal your trauma through consistent practice and healing.
It can be daunting revisiting your trauma and reprocessing old wounds that you have likely kept hidden in your mind for years. This is why it is critical to seek professional support from a facility that provides a safe space for their patients to open up and share their trauma with a licensed mental health professional who can help them effectively reprocess their trauma.
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Why should I consider seeking trauma treatment?
Trauma, left untreated, can significantly hurt your health and quality of life for the worse. This is why it is critical that if you or someone is struggling with unresolved trauma to seek professional support. Untreated trauma can impact your sense of self, self-esteem, relationships, and even your professional and personal responsibilities.
When you seek professional treatment for trauma, you are better able to understand your trauma and then heal from it. This may include learning how to effectively manage anxiety and depression symptoms stemming from your trauma, learning how to establish healthy boundaries, creating more healthy attachments instead of creating relationships with abusive individuals, and more.